Who is Esperanza (Part 1)

Hi, I’m Esperanza. I’m a neurodivergent Chicana and multi-passionate creative. I'm 30, in debt, smart, and a tad bit hardheaded. Most days I’m bouncing between music, writing, art, or just trying to keep up with life. Sometimes all in the same afternoon (or being completely burnt out and playing a mindless game).

I like to think of myself as part wanderer, part creator, and part storyteller. And I believe everyone should has a little bit of that in them. It's the zest in life that we need to keep so our lives are filled with love and excitement! So that's why I’ve spent years creating spaces that bring people together!

Chicana, Chingona, y Más

Before anything else, I’m a Chicana, a chingona, and so much more. I am history in the making. I am my culture, and I am my family and community. Those words carry weight and have their own stories. Every time I look in the mirror, every time I walk outside, and every time I choose my next move, I’m reminded of who I am in this world and why I do what I do.

My latinidad is multitude. It’s rooted in my ancestors, in my parents’ sacrifices, in Spanglish jokes with my loves, in the music that raised me, and in the food that nourished me. It’s in the way I carry myself in spaces that weren’t designed for me, and in the pride I feel when I create spaces where people like me belong. Being Chicana means resistance, resilience, and joy.

Being a chingona means owning my voice, even when it shakes. Y más, is everything else that I am.

AuDHD and Me

Essentially, my brain has zoomies and I’m always coming up with some sh*t. That’s really the core of what makes me, me. While I am not my diagnosis, I can say with full certainty that my desire for creativity and risk-taking is deeply intertwined with the fact that yes — I have AuDHD (and more). I’ve had it for a long time, but I didn’t know until I was 26 about my adhd and 30 for the tism. I know, some people are rolling their eyes because they don’t believe it, or they had zoomies as a kid and turned out just fine. You can leave. I can tell you with certainty that I did not turn out fine until I was diagnosed and finally understood how my brain works.

For me, it’s like having six radio stations playing at once: I’m trying to catch all of them, while also reading a book and taking notes on radio station #4. It’s chaotic. It’s exhausting. And when I was undiagnosed, it was overwhelming. But it’s also my superpower. It’s where my creativity lives. It’s where my intelligence and my insatiable hunger for knowledge thrive. I’ve had to unlearn the shame of being “all over the place,” “too much,” or “too little.”

It’s been a long journey to figuring out what I need and why but also having access to meds (Life changer). Otherwise, I’ll absolutely blow my savings, start 3 new businesses, and forget the cookies in the oven (which are now on fire). Now add that to my PTSD and we got a good ol' recipe for disaster. PTSD is my skeleton in the closet that occasionally haunts me. Sometimes it’s loud and obnoxious where I'm having full-body flashbacks, spirals, panic attacks. Other times it just chillin in the corner, making everything feel a little heavier, a little scarier than it should. But I never know what the mood is. And I gotta just deal with it.

So yes, my ADHD and PTSD together can feel like a massive sh*t storm (literally and figuratively because I do have IBS lol). But they’re also the reason I’ve learned how to alchemize it into art, music, and words. My brain isn't broken, it's just is.

30 and Finally Getting a hang of it

Girl, I’m finally 30! And while I could sit here and tell you I’ve got it all figured out and life is smooth sailing, I’d be LYING. Life is a b*tch (sometimes), and it took me a while to find my grounding. Honestly, I swear my ancestors were putting me through the wringer for the first part of my life, NGL.

My childhood? Rough. (That one’s for me and my therapist.)

My teen years? Depressing, but sprinkled with some awkwardly funny moments.

Young adulthood? Could’ve been better, but at least I was learning how to bite back.

Mid-20s? Financially and emotionally f*cked.

Late 20s? Repair, repair, and more repair.

And now 30? For the first time, I’m actually excited about what’s next. I could totally give you a quick run down of the experience but lets just say this for now: My adolescents was rough. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone. My 20s were messy: chasing goals that didn’t feel like mine, saying yes to everyone but myself, and trying to force a life plan that didn’t fit. I will take a deep dive later. Promise. At 30, I’m not quite sure what I'm doing but I enjoy it. Plus, I’ve learned a thing or two at this point.

Esperanza the Human | Musings of a Chicana

When I was trying to figure out how to remove myself from my brands, I hit a wall. I realized that I had made one-dimensional figures for each space that didn't allow me to express the way I need to or want to on any given day. So came

But this blog? This is where I let myself breathe. There's no word limit or minimum. No Particular topic. Just to share my thoughts, tangents, and musings about life as I figure it out.

If you stick around, you’ll probably find:

• rambly reflections about creativity and identity,

• updates from my artistic projects,

• personal stories (sometimes funny, sometimes heavy, always honest),

• and probably a recipe or two that I swore I’d keep to myself.

  
  

At the end of the day, I’m just a human who loves to connect, explore, and create — usually while sipping coffee and overthinking everything.

Thanks for being here. 💛