30 Lessons I've Learned in the last 30 years of life
- Esperanza Salgado
- Jul 1
- 4 min read
I've always been excited to be 30. I felt like that's when life would make sense and I would move through life with conviction. What I found was certainly that but not in the way I originally thought. I can with 100% certainty say that nothing in life is fixed and that there will always be something to be learned. There will be ups and downs all throughout our lives and we figure it out as we go! Over the years, I've learned a lot through therapy, friendships, heartbreaks, creative projects, chronic illness, work, community, and failure. With each lesson of life I have learned more compassion and kindness.
In no particular order, these are just 30 lessons (of many) I've learned in the last 30 years:
Do what you want, but be responsible and respectful to other people
Freedom is important, but our choices affect the people around us. Our liberation should not come at the expense of someone else's liberty.
Learning how to communicate is key to all your relationships
Communication is so hard because we all communicate differently and we all interpret the world differently.
Boundaries are for yourself, not other people
Boundaries aren't about controlling someone else's behavior. They're about deciding what you will and won't tolerate and acting accordingly.
Everyone is human, but some people are trifling
Compassion and empathy is important, but it doesn't mean tolerating or ignoring harmful behavior. Not everyone has good intentions.
Rest is a necessity
You cannot pour from an empty cup, no matter how hard you try. Trust me, I would know!
Put that dang phone away
I ain't saying you can't scroll here and there but there's a time and place... and limits. Go live life!
Softness is a strength
Being gentle, vulnerable, and caring requires far more courage than most people realize.
The right time doesn't exist
There are moments when timing matters, but many opportunities require you to begin before you feel fully ready.
Accountability is uncomfortable but required
No one likes to feel like they are in the wrong but Growth often starts with admitting when you've messed up.
Community is the most important thing you can invest in
People need people. Relationships, mutual support, and connection sustain us through life's highs and lows.
Therapy is always a good idea for everyone
You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from understanding yourself better. A common misconception is that therapist only helped people who are struggling, but the reality is the can even help with career goals or communication and many other facets of life.
Make sure you're on solid ground before taking care of others
You have to put on your oxygen mask on before you help others. Helping others is admirable, but if it is at the expense of your own well-being, you're doing it wrong.
Not everyone is going to like you
You can be everything under the sun and still not be everyone's cup of tea. And that is okay.
Putting in a good-faith effort will always be fruitful in some way
Even when things don't work out, effort often teaches you something valuable.
Tough conversations don't need to be fully pre-planned
Sometimes the most important thing is showing up honestly and being willing to stumble over your words.
Routinely check in with your loved ones
All relationships require maintenance.
Occasionally, re-evaluate your limits
Your capacity changes throughout life. What worked five years ago may not work today.
Your room is a reflection of your mind
More often that not, your environment can tell you a lot about how you're doing.
Celebrate your achievements
I was notoriously bad at this but you worked hard for those wins!!! Don't rush past it!
You can be extremely kind and forthright
The truth doesn't have to be cruel to be truthful. Don't be that a-hole who is "brutally honest". Honesty and kindness are mutuals.
Saying no is a superpower
This includes saying no to yourself. Every no creates space for a more intentional yes.
Dating is for data collection
What a hard lesson-- Dating helps you learn what works for you and what doesn't.
Failure is a part of learning
Mistakes are the tuition we pay for growth.
People are people
Most of us are just trying our best with the tools we have. And you just have to remind yourself especially when you are frustrated with the world
Lead with curiosity during tough conversations
Curiosity often opens doors that defensiveness keeps closed.
Intent vs. impact
Good intentions matter, but they don't erase the effect our actions have on others.
Niceness and kindness are not the same
Niceness avoids discomfort while kindness confronts discomfort.
Moving your body will help you in more ways than one
Physical movement affects not only your body but also your mood, energy, and mental health.
When it comes to self-care, doing something half-a**ed is better than not doing it at all
A five-minute effort is often better than waiting for the perfect moment.
Honor your body
Your body carries you through life. Listen to it and care for it; it won't be here forever.
Bonus because my 31st birthday is coming up!
You will always be learning something new about yourself
If you're lucky, you'll keep surprising yourself with new information and that is such a beautiful thing ❤️
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